Roadtrip
by RenaRoo
Summary: The Robins decide it is high time their partner gave them all a vacation. At the Happiest Place on Earth TM.


hoardertheexplorer prompted: Hi! The prompt, should you choose to accept it: Robins on a road trip to Disney. Everyone bickers over the radio and which rides to go on when they get there. Dick and Steph instigated the whole trip, Tim came along willingly if cautiously, but Damian and Jason were kidnapped/blackmailed (in the name of family bonding…)

This is such a ridiculously fun idea! I just love it. Thank you so much for requesting it : )

Batman and related properties © DC Comics  
story © RenaRoo

 **Roadtrip**

Bruce stares very seriously at him. Dick simply returns it.

He's just as capable of giving the _Bat Glare_ as Bruce is now. It's something his father is going to have to deal with eventually. It no longer holds that old power.

"You want me to foot the bill for this..." Bruce looks over the typed up manuscript - because Tim is eternally a _nerd_ \- and throws up his hands slightly "... _soul sabbatical?"  
_

"I think the terms we used quite clearly offer it as _recuperative retreat,"_ Dick points out, a finger tapping on the page.

"I will be honest with you, Dick," Bruce returns dryly.

"I expect nothing different at this point in my life, Bruce," Dick says with his best soul suckingly sweet smile.

"This seems like a terrible idea."

Dick crosses his arms and huffs. "I don't see how you drew _that_ conclusion," he says with a shrug. "I think his document highlights the exact opposite."

"You're not even taking your sister," Bruce points out.

"She wants father-daughter alone time," Dick says. "Plus Cass wasn't a Robin. She was Batgirl. So she's going on the Batgirl trip next month."

Bruce stares at Dick again. "Now there's _two_ trips?"

"That's not for me to discuss, I'm just the elected spokesperson for _this_ trip," Dick continues with a wave of his hand. "You should take that up with Cass. Or Babs. Actually, the only one who is relevant to _both_ trips is Stephanie. But I hear last time you two talked she slapped you, so maybe it's just better if you don't question any of us and foot the bill."

The billionaire's eyebrows knit together. "The bill to _Disneyland._ For my _three adult_ sons, my _adult former protege,_ and... Damian."

"Yes," Dick says with a nod.

"Who has never seen a Disney movie in his life," Bruce presses.

"That's quickly about to change," Dick assures Bruce.

Closing his eyes, Bruce sighs and signs the contract. Dick is sure that Tim will be very pleased.

* * *

They stand between the two parks, and already the divide is obvious.

"How can you _possibly_ justify not spending the first day in the actual park?" Dick demands, glaring at Jason and Tim.

Stephanie stands by Dick readily. "It's practically sacrilegious!" she says with an emphatic wave.

Jason points a thumb at California Adventure. "It has _beer!"_

"It's the more adult park," Tim concludes.

Damian stands between them, sour as any of them have ever seen him, all the way down to his Mickey Mouse ears.

"I hate all of you."

"We're going to _actual_ Disneyland today, end of discussion," Dick snaps. "We can _discuss_ maybe going to the other park tomorrow-"

"Whatever, this is lame," Jason moans.

"Okay, next discussion, which way are we going first?" Tim asks. "Which section of the park are we aiming for for the morning? What ride's first?"

Ten different answers mix in the air until it's nothing but white noise.

Everyone stares.

"Oh god," Steph moans, rubbing her face. "This is going to be a nightmare."

* * *

"Are you sure Bruce told us to ' _spare no expense'_ on this trip?" Tim asks. "Because I don't have that in writing and therefore can't confirm."

"Are you saying Daddy Warbats would miss the money from us getting speed passes?" Jason asks critically.

"I refuse to stand in lines," Damian snaps.

"Longer than we necessarily have to," Dick amends. "C'mon, Dami, _lines_ are part of the experience."

"Tim, if we go to your Must-Ride firs, will you _not_ ruin my first trip to Disneyland?" Steph demands, hands on her hips as she looks at him.

The former CEO tosses his head back and forth before looking a the other Robins seriously. "Does this mean that - if there _is_ a Jedi show currently on in the plaza that we will get pizza and sit and watch and _not_ make smart ass comments about the thing I've looked forward to the most this side of Space Mountain?"

The other four look to each other, then back to him.

"Not exactly promising that," Dick says hesitantly.

"Too much scathing material to be lost," Damian asserts.

"But we _will_ allow you to fanboy," Steph nods in agreement.

"Also," Jason says with a finger up. He points directly at Tim. "Raging _nerd._ I can appreciate that, Drake."

It's a start.

It's also three lightsaber models he can't pass up in the gift shop that he'll have to carry all day. But. Worth it.

* * *

Jason is obviously losing faith in the Mission, but they are down one Negative Nancy since Tim got his backpack full of light up lightsabers and a trip down Space Mountain.

So at least there's not complaining on _that_ end.

"This is the lamest thing in the entire park."

Dick stands before _Dumbo the Flying Elephant_ with the most appalled look he's carried since Damian refused peanuts on the flight over to California.

He waves his hands emphatically. "This is literally my childhood! Flying. Elephants. Disney. _Dumbo!"_

Damian looks slightly perturbed himself. "Grayson, this is a child's ride."

"This is a classic," Dick defends.

"This isn't... the highest ride on my list," Stephanie agrees. "But, it's number one on Dick's. And he _did_ get us here."

"Do it for the memories," Tim suggests to the two dissenting Robins with a shrug.

"The memories," Dick says with a nod before grabbing their hands and dragging them toward the line. "This is the ride on _every_ commercial, _every_ poser. And it's Flying. Elephants. How are you guys not getting how perfectly _me_ this is?"

It takes everything in him to not hold it against Damian for life when he sees the goofy smile his riding partner sports on the ride.

He settles for immortalizing it in a picture, keychain, and poster instead. Ah, the joys of digital photography.

* * *

Jason's request for the day isn't exactly _unexpected_ \- it is, but it isn't - it's just the fact that he's being so genuine about it.

Stephanie joins in and they spend no less than twenty minutes in he Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique picking out the most elaborate autograph album they can find and additional ten minutes on matching quills.

Having done his own request, Dick's patience apparently is running thin because he keeps mentioning that they've not done enough before lunch and getting onto them for not getting Damian an album.

Damian and Tim, for their parts, stand in the corner of the store comparing the size of the various jumpers and critiquing thread counts to an extreme that makes Jason want to knock their heads together.

"For some reason, Todd, I have high doubts that your desire to have autographs here is sincere," Damian sneers as they leave the store at long last.

Passing a Belle even as Stephanie stops to get a signing, Jason shrugs. "Whatever could you mean?"

Tim waves at the people getting autographs. "Right there is what we-"

Jason walks past them and drops to a knee in the square, holding out a pen and autograph book to a five-year-old in loosely hanging bows and a messy looking green Tiana skirt. "Excuse me, Miss Tiana! I haven't gotten your autograph yet," he says in probably the most cheer any of the Wayne siblings have ever heard from him.

The girl squeals in delight and tugs on her parents' hands before giving Jason the loopiest, sloppiest signature possible.

Immediately caught up in the excitement, Stephanie follows suit.

By the time the girl and her family leaves, there has never been more pleased faces in the square. Jason and Stephanie just grin at each other and press forward to find the next Disney character among the crowds of children.

The three remaining Robins stand around baffled.

Damian crosses his arms. "What hams."

"They stole that from a tumblr post," Tim alerts the others.

Dick shrugs. "It's nice of them. I like it!"

"I do, too," Damian changes tunes as he follows after his mentor.

Tim glares at the youngest Robin. "Traitor."

* * *

"When you said you wanted to go to the _Pirates of the Caribbean_ I thought for sure it was just the ride and now I'm having to pay out of pocket to clear a table space," Tim says with only the faintest hints of annoyance as he goes through his checkbook.

Stephanie crosses her arms. "I can't think of anything I want to do more at this park right now outside of eating at this restaurant, Tim."

Damian looks with complete disdain at the costumed employees, which isn't helping them get seated any faster.

"I kind of feel embarrassed with the amount of power the Wayne name has," Jason admits as he shifts in line. "Like... you know you usually have to reserve spots here years in advanced? Like that's how nutso this is."

"I'm kind of with Jason on this one," Dick agrees. "Not to mention, if we go through all this trouble and _don't_ also ride the ride, we've wasted our trip. Because holy crap how do we go to Disneyland and not take Damian on the most famous ride ever."

"We haven't been to the Haunted Mansion yet," Tim reminds them all. "Or a lot of other things. But, despite my own complaints, this is Steph's pick and I personally would love for her to try the mashed potatoes here."

Steph's grin widens and she tosses her head, making the Mickey Mouse ears on her head flop. "I would like to remind everyone this is my first Disneyland experience, thank you very much!"

"It's Damian's, too," Jason says, nudging Damian off his steady stance just to fluster the young Robin further.

Dick turns on Damian, a curious look on his face. "Speaking of which, Damian, you've not picked anything to do yet."

Damian huffs. "I haven't seen anything to interest me yet on the itinerary," he responds roughly.

"We'll just keep looking for your special-something then," Dick decides. "We haven't gone on _It's a Sm-"_

 _"NO!"_ the others yell.

* * *

Damian is pretty much done for the day. It's late. It's hot. They walked for lengths tat even the most highly trained assassin would tire with, and for some reason his fellow Robins are _persistent_ in their need to stay longer.

"The rides are closing," Damian argues.

"We're doing something special for you, half-pint," Todd responds roughly before rubbing Damian's hair in the _exact_ way Damian has told him a dozen times before not to.

The only real response is for Damian to flick the hand away and glare back at Todd as Grayson and Drake plop onto the sidewalk and lay back like

"Can we see it from here?" Grayson asks his fellow former park attendees.

"Yup," Drake responds back.

Brown plops down, sitting up, with a bucket of the popcorn they just purchased for her. She grins widely and pats the sidewalk beside her for Damian to join. "I'm so excited for this," she informs him as he takes the invitation.

Todd comes behind Grayson and Drake and roughly pulls them back into sitting positions. "Make room, I want back here."

The other brothers roll their eyes but scoot apart for the bulky man.

Damian raises his brow at them before looking as others gather around and begin taking their own seats along the streets and even over across the bridge. The youngest Wayne is perplexed.

Then it happens.

There are shouts of excitement as a Tinker Bell dashes overhead on a line, surprising Damian with her sudden appearance.

Brown is literally bouncing. _Of course_ the sassy fairy is her favorite.

Damian thinks he's over the surprises when bursts of color come across the distance, over the central body of water. He watches as waterworks and fireworks alike bring the lake to life, music swelling all around them.

For a moment, he forgets he's not the only one there, is completely absorbed in the stories and songs and wild displays going on before him. He feels Brown grab his hand and smile at him.

She doesn't say anything, but Damian knows she caught him smiling.


End file.
